Cool girl seeks hot summer friend.

Dear future best friend,

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be friends with a part-time pioneer who rolls burritos for dough, bowls for fun, knows the night sky like the back of her hand, and can turn every stroll through town into a walking history tour?  Well, speculate no longer.  This amateur astronomer-historian-herpetologist, bowling enthusiast, burrista, and singer of silly songs is looking for [platonic] love.

Ideal partner in crime will possess:

  1. an immunity to second-hand embarrassment
  2. a resting pulse of at least 60bpm
  3. properly honed nodding reflex, even when not listening
  4. 3-5 years of experience being a good friend
  5. proficiency in casual e-mailing/texting with a response time of 3hrs or less
  6. an appreciation for the internet’s cutest creatures
  7. enthusiasm for crafting and board games

Duties would entail:

  1. bowling
  2. running outdoors
  3. watching movies
  4. attending music concerts (classical, folk, whatever you like)
  5. participation in (bi)weekly wine & board game nights
  6. stargazing (during meteor showers, this might become mandatory)
  7. getting so much custard together, we get our free cones on the same day
  8. other duties may arise as summer progresses

Starting salary is 2 hugs per hour and is commensurate with experience.  Benefits package includes: an open heart, automatic invitation to summer birthday celebrations, a hand to hold, and various opportunities to cuddle. Please send cover letters and resumes to jenislonely@thisisnotreal.com or contact the Friendship Bureau at 666-101-BFFL with any questions you may have.  Jen is an equal opportunity friendship provider.

would you be this girl's friend?

would you be this girl’s friend?

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2 thoughts on “Cool girl seeks hot summer friend.

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